He squinted to postmortem
each word, letter, and line,
written with one’s blood and sweat,
to say,
‘Spags innumerable,
cliche's here and there,
grammatical mistakes throughout,
good flow but lacks depth;
Sometimes diction inappropriate,
ambiguous lines,
obscurity observed,
needs to add commas,
put full stops instead of semi colon;
semi-colon is enough than a period there.
author notes needed for clarity
some words are forced,
this is not a Tanka poem
nor it is a haiku,
5 stars after revision
Be satisfied with my 2 stars,
See, I am honest and I need to improve your writing,
Don’t believe those who flatter you,
Haven’t you heard the song of ‘spider and the fly’??
No comments:
Post a Comment